#BiggerPlan

Middle of the night and here I sit. Still time to get one more sleep in before church but I doubt I will. I just don’t have it in me to fall into the black. It feels like a place I will die a little more. My heart already emptying out. It must not be…

Do You Want to Get Better?

Really? Do You? I think for most people and organizations, the truest answer is No. It’s almost always disguised as a Yes, but in the reality-under-the-skin, it’s a resounding No. It’s just too hard to get better at something… anything. Because it requires change. And to get better and stay better requires lasting change. Even…

#JonahMoment

Swallowed Whole The best way I can describe it was a Jonah Moment. I had been swallowed by the whale. In the belly for a long dark while. Then spit out on the sand of a foreign beach. In the land of Teaching. I tried running back into the ocean… but each time my feet…

The Ebb and Flow of Fear

I’m not nervous anymore. Finally, I slept deeply all night… too restless for the past week. Nerves I think. Because it’s all so possible. Today… not only is it possible… it is inevitable. Inevitable. He made sure of that with each phone call and text message. He asked a lot of questions… juxtaposed a lot…

Aren’t People Funny

Aren’t people funny? Teresa and I invented that phrase forever ago to prevent us from breaking St. Benedict’s big rule: Do not evil murmur. In the moment when one of us is on the brink of saying something mean-spirited about someone, we catch ourselves, look at each otherĀ and say… Aren’t people funny? The tone of…

#NotYet

I was so mad I could have spit. I remember that phrase from way back in my childhood days and I knew whenever I heard it to steer wide clear of the person who said it. Usually it was my mom. Back in the day, spitting must have been a pretty naughty thing to do.…

#Unleash again

Two nights and two dreams… What is my usability factor? Am I allowing God to do what is necessary in this moment? What is the worst kind of #$%@? The kind that’s good for you. I am entirely afraid that You don’t mean for any of this to happen. Why would You put this on…