Middle of the night and here I sit.
Still time to get one more sleep in before church but I doubt I will.
I just don’t have it in me to fall into the black.
It feels like a place I will die a little more.
My heart already emptying out.

It must not be that-much-middle-of-the-night.
I can make out black-on-blue clouds.
But a good deal longer until anyone in this house stirs.
You and I are alone.

I will slip away down the secret stair.
Let us rendezvous in the deep wood and be.
I need to understand Your bigger plan better.

I live in the AfterFaith again.
I never wanted to return but here we are.
You have truly dragged me kicking and screaming this time.
Why are we here?

I am so weary of small people who make decisions that alter the river of my life.
They are ignorant. Undeserving of the graced power given.
A wall of rocks and the water changes course.
I change course. Life shifts.

Though perhaps their bigger plan was to move me to my bigger plan.
And each domino tumbles the next.
I wanted a flying dream but not enough sleep.
Your bigger plan now. Sit.

what are you thinking about?

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