The Ebb and Flow of Fear

I’m not nervous anymore.

Finally, I slept deeply all night… too restless for the past week.

Nerves I think. Because it’s all so possible.

Today… not only is it possible… it is inevitable.

Inevitable. He made sure of that with each phone call and text message. He asked a lot of questions… juxtaposed a lot of answers…  started in on the legwork… arranged some meetings. All inevitable.

I could only have made this leap because of that day when I morphed. I was direct. I needed that level of trust to go the next step. Now we have hatched an evil plan with teeth… a disrupting Godzilla-dragon-plan with teeth!

I smile when I think how we each fill a unique niche. Could it really be that simple… this natural division of duties falls into our own wheelhouses. The Jedi. The Artist. The German. I smile.

I think my nerves and anxiety stemmed from the fear of having to make a commitment to a path. The last time cut me so deep and so quick… hurt so bad for so long. I revisit myself drowning over and over… being held underwater.

I can let that go now. Because I can make a new commitment going forward.

I’m ready. And in fact, I am on fire!

NS logo crop

what are you thinking about?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s