Crash and Burn
Do you ever have those times in life when it feels like the whole world is standing on its head? All the blood goes rushing to the brain? Then comes the dizzy feeling? Wobbling and spinning and crashing and burning? You get the picture.
But it’s not me… just everything around me. And it’s not that the world has gone crazy as much as it’s just weird #$%& all over.
Became super obvious at the dentist yesterday. I went in for a routine filling. Dentist shot me full of anesthesia. Came back to give me a little more. We waited. Another few minutes passed and we’re ready to start.
I couldn’t open my jaw!
I’ve never had that happen before. Dentist had never had that happen before.
Me: It’s all getting numb. I feel the medicine working… but I can’t open my mouth.
Dentist: Let’s put a warm compress on it and try to massage the muscles.
[I didn’t know til later that my dentist freaked. Walked out quickly to go call the oral surgeon and figure out what happened.]
Turns out the anesthesia probably paralyzed my jaw muscle. Yup… after a couple hours, it began to wear off and my jaw was fine. But we had to reschedule the original procedure.
See? Totally weird.
Later in the evening, I found out that a good friend lost his job because of some false accusations. It was all very politically motivated and included another firing of someone higher up in the food chain.
Another strange-but-cool story…
I received a Facebook message from a Wyoming friend saying she found my wedding china in a storage shed. I had been missing it for 9 years! The only clue was a mailing label with my name on it on an envelope inside the box.
Four cross-country relocations and nine years later, I will be reunited with this box because another friend from Colorado just happens to be passing through Wyoming this weekend and will pick it up for me. Weird #$%& all over.
I want it to make sense.
There is a whole shmear [yes… it’s a real word] of other bizarre situations over the past few weeks… all related to behaviors and words-said-aloud and people-doing-stupid-stuff.
I don’t really want to try and make sense of all this weirdness… but actually I do! Is the universe trying to send me a message? Send any of us a message?
All of these incidents are way too random to think there might be a pattern that could predict the next event. And yet my brain keeps trying to distill and align something… anything!… because it still feels like the ground is shifting beneath my feet after these past couple years. I am still craving an inner sense of stability and steadfastness.
Which is weird too… because I thrive on change. Perhaps what I want is familiarity. That my expectations will be met as planned. Flexibility and adaptation require a ton of energy. I am always exhausted anymore.
But the river of life keeps pushing me downstream. The best I can do is enter into each moment and squeeze out all the good I possibly can. I don’t want to miss any-thing! Life is way too short.
I am reminded of a great quote by the classic Greek philosopher Heraclitus:
You can never step into the same river twice.
It’s not the same river… and I’m not the same person. Everything changes and nothing stands still.
Like I said… weird #$%& all over.