Short-tail vs. Long-tail

The Long and Short of It

All year–this school year–I have been trying to decide if I want to be in this new job thing long-term or short-term. I wake up every day jazzed with a new idea or excited by what is on my plate for the day. I enjoy the people. Many of them give me life in a way that hasn’t happened in a really long time. Such a gift.

But there is also my former career… and a ton of stuff I could be doing because the window is open and I can do things that few are doing right now. I lack the motivation to work hard in that arena though. So many hurdles to jump… so many politically correct expectations to meet… so many short-sighted people to please. At least in public-school-world, I don’t know that I don’t know.

Ignorance is indeed bliss.

I am tempted to walk away from my former world. Already the knowledge gap is widening and the learning curve is steepening. If I am to stay relevant, now is the time to work in earnest to catch up and reconnect. My internal question: Do I want to do that?

Ironically, the kicker for me is that now I can see myself much more clearly:

I can do anything. Literally.

So what is it that I want to do?

I have a choice in my hands… a freedom that I have never really known. I’m sure it’s always been there but I couldn’t see it… didn’t feel it.

Life and Tectonic Plates

Larger life has just evolved for me. Shifted like the tectonic plates of earth that cover the planet. Ever-moving, perhaps imperceptibly, allowing me to see from a new vantage point something I couldn’t see before. Scary… but entirely exhilarating.

I am trying to give myself permission to change. To allow life to take me some place new. To move easily to where I need to go–not kicking and screaming as I have been prone to do in the past. It’s been a great long while since I willingly gave up control. Honestly, let go and let God.

Ultimately… it’s been about trust. I had to re-learn how to trust. Because I’ve been burned. A lot.

I made some assumptions. And in some cases, I dove into the deep end of the pool too quickly. Even though I already knew how to swim, I should have waited. It cost me dearly. I almost drowned. [It unnerves me to think too deeply about how close I actually came to that death. Don’t think Meat! Just throw.]

Bravery

And so I circle back to short-term vs. long-term.

Am I brave enough to start over fresh?

Or will I just try to re-create what has already been?

There is a dauntless courage at stake just now. [Divergent! A movie I could relate to…]

[I have always felt entirely humbled by the vast bank of talent You have bestowed on me. And truly grateful. I hope I can do it justice with the time You have given me.]

Perhaps that is the answer I have been seeking: What to do with the time God has given me.

Maybe this is indeed the moment to move into a totally new phase of life. Maybe I am truly ready for yet another career… this would be the fourth. I kind of always assumed there would be one… or at the most, two. Strange and unexpected.

I often look at the evening moon and hear Your voice say: Everything will work out fine.

In this past hugely tumultuous year, You have remained steadfast and true to Your word. That has been the re-lessoning of trust. Because in some moments, there was nothing except possibility. The possibility that something better was coming. Indeed, it did.

This is a new life.BigHorn Voyager
Ripe with new possibility.
The challenge is to act with courage.

Brave Voyager, onward!

 

what are you thinking about?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s